If you’re feeling exhausted and at your wits end with broken sleep because of your child's current sleeping patterns, you’ve probably googled ‘sleep coaches’ or ‘sleep trainers’.
The problem is, when you’re exhausted and in desperate need of someone to help, it’s difficult to know who to hire. There’s so much information out there about sleep coaches and trainers (also consultants and nannies) that it’s difficult to know which type of person will be best for you and your baby.
That’s exactly what I’m going to help you with in this article. By the end, you’ll know exactly who you should hire to help support you and your baby in getting more (and better) sleep.
Is there technically a difference between a sleep coach or a trainer?
Technically, there isn’t a huge difference between the two phrases. You may hear people use the two terms quite freely and interchangeably. However, the sleep industry has grown and changed hugely in the last 10 years, and with this, professionals within the industry have started to use these terms to help differentiate themselves based on the approach they follow.
So let's look at the main differences between a Sleep Coach and a Sleep Trainer. Hopefully, this article will help you make a more informed decision that will work for your baby and for your family as a whole.
What is a Sleep Coach?
A Sleep Coach is someone who will help you understand more about normal infant behaviour and give you the knowledge and confidence to help your baby sleep as well as they can, taking into account their current stage of development.
Sleep coaches usually have a more gentle, holistic approach that considers both mum and baby. Most Sleep Coaches (especially Holistic Sleep Coaches) will support parents to optimise sleep and will be able to discuss pragmatic approaches to improving sleep, such as co-sleeping, optimising night feeds, contact napping, or even taking a Montessori approach to sleep spaces.
Sleep coaching, as an approach, looks at making continuous tweaks to your existing circumstances to optimise sleep. It's a medium to long-term process, and definitely not one that promises to work overnight!
Unfortunately, there is no magic wand that will get your baby to instantly sleep to an ideal pattern that works for everyone in the family. But over time and with the right strategies for you and your baby, it will happen!
What's important to consider here is the coaching element in the Sleep Coach job title. As the name suggests, a Sleep Coach should be someone who will not only provide you with information and knowledge about sleep, but will also support you along the way and help you make gradual changes to achieve your ultimate goal.
What is a Sleep Trainer?
A professional who calls themselves a Sleep Trainer is potentially someone who believes in and embraces much stricter routines or strategies.
For example, it's possible (but not always the case) that a Sleep Trainer supports the Cry It Out (CIO) method. This is a technique you may have come across in the past that involves placing your baby in their cot while still awake and letting them fall asleep without any help or intervention from you. And as suggested by the name, this method implies that a baby will potentially cry until they manage to fall asleep.
In other words, a Sleep Trainer's main focus is on the methods or techniques to get your baby to sleep more, better, or for longer hours.
How do sleep coaching and sleep training differ?
Because a lot of Sleep Trainers and Sleep Coaches will use the terms interchangeably (even on their own websites), the main thing to consider when hiring a professional to help with your baby's sleep is to look at their approach and the type of service they offer.
Sleep Coaches tend to take a more holistic approach towards baby sleep. This means they may also look at daytime activities or feeding patterns, for example. As well as your long-term objectives around sleep, a Sleep Coach will also take into account your baby’s personality and temperament (as well as yours) and any existing habits or routines - not necessarily just around sleep.
The focus of a Sleep Coach will be on empowering you with knowledge and information, offering suggestions, and supporting you through making gradual changes that will help with improved sleep.
Sleep training tends to focus heavily on how a baby settles to sleep at bedtime, and how they are responded to in the middle of the night. The goal is to ‘teach’ baby to settle to sleep at bedtime and resettle independently in the middle of the night, within a relatively short time scale of 3-5 days. A Sleep Trainer may also recommend night weaning, usually by going ‘cold turkey’ on night feeds.
As well as focusing on how a baby is responded to at night, a Sleep Trainer may also place a heavy focus on daytime routines and suggest clock-based nap times and nap lengths. While the thought of being able to know exactly when your baby is going to sleep is really attractive, research* has shown that prescriptive clock-based routines only work 20% of the time. In fact, for lots of families, strict routines can be a source of stress and anxiety. If you like a routine, you might want to give this a go, but please don’t feel bad if your baby doesn’t get the memo!
What do Sleep Trainers primarily focus on?
Sleep Trainers primarily focus on teaching babies to settle to sleep independently. . There are various methods that a Sleep Trainer might employ, so it's important you do your research in advance or ask how they work when you speak to them.
Some sleep training methods you may have come across include:
The 'Ferber method'. While there are many names for this method as there are variations, effectively, this means checking on your baby at set intervals without rocking them or feeding them to sleep. So you do check on them, but the objective is for them to fall asleep on their own.
The CIO or extinction method. As mentioned earlier, this refers to the practice of placing your baby in their cot when still awake and leaving the room to allow them to fall asleep by themselves, even if they cry.
The 'chair method'. This is a more gradual method of sleep training where you place your baby in their cot awake but don't leave the room. Instead, you sit in a chair by the cot until they fall asleep or every time they wake up in the night. Gradually, night after night, you move the chair further away from the cot.
The 'pick up / put down' method. Again, this is a more gradual method where you provide reassurance and calm the baby when they wake by either picking them up and calming them or by making your presence known. The baby still falls asleep by themselves, but you're there to provide that calming reassurance.
There are obviously lots of other methods that could be applied, but the main aim of sleep training is to help you select one (or a combination) and implement that technique.
What do Sleep Coaches primarily focus on?
Sleep coaching focuses primarily on understanding where you are right now with your baby's sleep with a view to achieving a positive improvement. It looks at exploring your current circumstances and situation and coming up with a plan to help your baby sleep better.
While sleep coaching will still be based on applying methods and implementing techniques to achieve improved sleep, it also looks at helping you more holistically with your routines, patterns, or behaviours. It's not just about the sleep - it's about everything that has led to where you are now with sleep and everything that surrounds sleep as well.
For example, a Sleep Coach may address the reasons why your baby is unable to settle at night (is feeding optimised? Is the baby more alert and need more support to calm their busy brain at the end of the day?). Or they might look at what you could change to help them nap better and longer during the day. If you've been relying on rocking or holding your baby to help them sleep, are there any underlying health conditions (such as reflux) that may have contributed to building that behaviour and habit?
Do sleep training and sleep coaching differ in terms of the support they offer?
The level of service and support you receive when working with a Sleep Coach or Sleep Trainer may vary. And this will be down to the particular services that a professional chooses to offer, rather than their job title.
If ongoing help and support are what you're after, make sure you pick a professional and a package that provides enough follow-up support. Some professionals may only just create a plan for you to follow, or they may just offer email support after your initial consultation. This means they might not necessarily be available to tweak that plan should you need to. And they may not be at hand to support you when you aren't seeing as much progress as you'd like to.
Am I a Sleep Coach or a Sleep Trainer?
I am a Sleep Coach. However, my approach sits somewhere in the middle of a Sleep Trainer and Sleep Coach. What does this mean, exactly?
For example, unlike a lot of Sleep Trainers out there, I personally don't support the CIO method. However, I fully understand that, as a mum, you may be exhausted and in desperate need of rest! So there is no judgement from me if you have tried CIO in the past or are at the stage where you really need to make changes to how you settle your baby to sleep. Wherever you are at with sleep, there will always be a gentle path available for you to get to where you want to be.
How I work as a Sleep Coach
We start with a comprehensive review of your goals, your child's sleep challenges, and their overall health and well-being. And if needed, we'll do some detective work to identify any other issues that might be affecting their sleep.
In other words, we look at finding the root cause of your baby's sleep challenges. And with that understanding in place, when working with you and your family:
I make recommendations based on optimising your baby's sleep. Together, we try to find that balance between what your baby needs and what you also need. We do this by talking through the most appropriate strategies and routines that will help you achieve your sleep goals.
I write a bespoke sleep plan for your baby. This may also include suggestions for daytime routines and activities, where appropriate. We build a plan for a positive bedtime routine that works for your family. But nothing is set in stone, and I never tell you what to do! Instead, I make suggestions with empathy and understanding so you can feel empowered in the choices you make.
I offer support along the way. With my Gold and Platinum support packages, I include unlimited telephone coaching and WhatsApp access to me for one month, with the option to extend this if needed. ). This way, I can be on hand to answer questions and suggest tweaks to the plan where necessary. But I will also be there for reassurance. I will keep you going during any tough times and also celebrate successes with you - whether big or small.
Would you like some help?
If you're currently in the thick of sleep deprivation, you feel you've tried everything, and are at the end of your tether, I want you to know that there's light at the end of the tunnel!
As a Holistic Sleep Coach, I can help you achieve peaceful and improved sleep in a way that feels good. If you want better sleep for your child, yourself, and the whole family, together we can find a way.
If you'd like to find out how I can help, please get in touch by arranging a call or sending me an email. I'll be delighted to hear your sleep story and help you improve your child's sleep.