Being the parent of a toddler is exhausting at the best of times. Being the parent of a toddler who doesn’t sleep well takes the exhaustion to a whole other level. Gone are the days when you could ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ or spend time watching Netflix while you fed and cuddled your baby. Life is busy, you may have returned to work, and you may even have a new baby to care for as well.
Sleep challenges during the toddler years are really common - there is so much going on at this stage of life. Some parents find that their toddler who has previously slept through the night has started to wake up multiple times or at the dreaded 5 am.
For other parents, their toddler may have never slept well. You may have survived until now, perhaps by co-sleeping or taking the nights in shifts. However, everyone has their limits, and often an impending change such as a new job, or pregnancy can raise the stakes and mean that change is necessary.
No guilt necessary!
If this is where you’re at, please know that you’re not alone - sleep challenges during the toddler years are really common. Don’t have any regrets about what you’ve done or not done to help your child sleep up to this point. You have parented your toddler perfectly, giving them exactly the support they needed both at night and during the day. If the time has now come to nudge things on, you can do so without stress or guilt.
Don’t sleep coaches only work with babies? Not Toddlers?
You may not have previously considered hiring a Sleep Coach to help with your toddler’s sleep. Some parents think that Sleep Coaches mainly work with young babies. Let me reassure you, though, as a Sleep Coach, I work with lots of toddlers, pre-schoolers and primary school children up to the age of 8 years. In fact, if I had to choose, I’d say toddlers are my favourite age group to work with!
Working with a Sleep Coach could be really beneficial for you and your family (I’m biased, I know, but hear me out!). But how will you find the right Sleep Coach for your toddler? Here are the things you’ll want to consider.
What can cause a toddler to have disrupted sleep?
First thing first, let's look at some of the factors that could be impacting your toddler’s sleep at the moment. You may be having just one or two of these at play (or several at once), but they all could play a part in causing your toddler to experience broken sleep at night.
1. Moving from two naps to one nap a day
Nap transitions can be tricky to navigate. Typically, toddlers transition from two naps to one nap between 12 and 18 months (the average age is 15 months). Then around their third birthday, the final nap is usually dropped.
Naps provide babies and toddlers with the chance to process all the learning that is taking place at a rapid speed in the early months and years. At a young age, children are constantly learning, and naps are critical to protect and enhance memories.
Recent research suggests that nap transitions are predicted by brain development. Specifically, as the areas of the brain associated with memory develop, there is less need for frequent sleep. As children get older, the speed that sleep pressure builds decreases, until they can can go the whole day without napping.
While some children sail through nap transitions, others may struggle. For example, some toddlers may need a good 7 hours to build up sleep pressure before bed, and if they nap too late in the afternoon, this could make bedtime much later than normal. Others toddlers may start waking in the night, or waking super early in the morning if they nap too much (or at all) in the day. All of these challenges can throw a real spanner in the works and make sleep tricky!
2. Old settling methods no longer work
A common example of this is rocking to sleep. Sometimes, when toddlers get bigger, it can get harder for toddlers to get comfy in your arms–there’s lots of fidgeting and tossing and turning. As well as this, of course, rocking a toddler is far more physically demanding (anyone who has regularly rocked a toddler to sleep will understand this).
Another example is transitioning from feeding to sleep. Some parents who have fed their child to sleep up to this point may be wanting to introduce a new way of settling at bedtime. Everyone has their own reasons - sometimes feeding no longer works as well as it used to. Or perhaps the time has come to share out bedtime and nighttime parenting a bit more to take the pressure off mum’s shoulders.
If your toddler has been regularly rocked or fed to sleep, and you need to change this, you may be feeling conflicted. Things need to change, but you don’t want to do anything that’s going to be stressful for your toddler or make them fearful of bedtime.
If you take one thing from this blog, though, let it be my reassurance that you can introduce new settling methods by taking small incremental steps. You definitely don’t need to use cry-it-out sleep training methods. There are lots of ways of gently introducing new ways of settling at bedtime that will be manageable for both you and your toddler and will help you get to a place where both bedtimes and nighttimes are much easier. A Sleep Coach will help you find the right path for you and your toddler, so that you’re able to make the transition as easy as possible, working at a pace that’s right for you.
3. Transitioning from co-sleeping
If your toddler has co-slept with you for all or part of the night since they were young, you might be at the stage of wanting to nudge this on. While co-sleeping works really well for lots of families, some reach a stage where it stops workong so well. There may not be enough room in the bed for the three of you, or perhaps you just can’t sleep well with your toddler lying across your face (I’ve definitely been there!)
This can feel like a big transition, and it’s probably one of the most common reasons that parents reach out to me. Again, you don’t need to go at this hard and fast - there are lots of ways that you can ease into the transition.
If you’re wanting to transition from co-sleeping, aim to ‘front load’ your toddler with lots of love and affection before the bedtime routine. Also, if your little one isn’t used to sleeping in their own room, aim to have lots of fun times with you in their bedroom to help them develop a sense of the room feeling really safe and secure.
As well as this, it may help to think outside the box to consider ways of helping you all get the sleep you need during this period of adjustment. For example, could you set up a mattress in your toddler’s bedroom so that you can room-in with them while they get used to the change? These are some of the things you’ll be able to discuss with a Sleep Coach to help make the transition as easy as possible for the whole family..
4. Transitioning from a cot to a bed
Similarly, you may need to transition your toddler from a cot to a bed. Perhaps you’re having to do this earlier than expected because they’ve started climbing over the bars. Or maybe you’re expecting a new baby, and want to make the transition before the baby is born so that your toddler doesn’t feel ‘kicked out’ of their cot by the new baby.
This transition can be tricky for some, because developmentally, your toddler may not understand the concept of ‘staying in bed’ without having the physical barrier of the bars to define the space. However, there are lots of ways that you can ease into this change, and a toddler Sleep Coach will help you navigate this with confidence and ease so that it doesn’t lead to disrupted sleep, or you trying to ‘herd’ your toddler back into bed 100 times at bedtime!.
5. Developmental leaps
Research has shown a clear correlation between developmental leaps, and increased wakefulness in babies and toddlers. The major milestones at play in the toddler years are related to movement and language development, and you may have found that sleep went completely out the window shortly before your toddler started to walk.
If you’re going through a period such as this, please be assured that it should be just a phase, and it will settle. In the meantime, give your toddler lots of time to practise their new skills during the day. If they sleep in a cot, let them have lots of time to explore the space, and practise rolling around and pulling themselves up to standing on the bars so that there’s less desire to do so at bedtime.
If your toddler is going through a language leap, you may find it helpful to keep your bedtime story to an old favourite, rather than a new or more complex book. Reading with your baby is brilliant, but keep things simple before sleep to avoid sparking off their busy brain!
6. A new sibling on the way, moving home, starting nursery, or going a childminder
Again, these are examples of changes in your toddler’s life and routine that may have occurred recently and impacted their sleep. It’s common for sleep to be affected when children change routines, and when their worlds start to get a little wider.
The good news is that if sleep is impacted, it is usually just a temporary disruption. As well as this, there are lots of ways that you can optimise your toddler’s sleep to help them sleep as well as possible.
One thing you could try tonight is a 15-minute kitchen disco! Turn on your favourite tunes after dinner, sing out loud and do some crazy dancing with your toddler! Laughing together is one of the best ways to boost connection, and by moving their body, your toddler will literally be able to shake away the worries of the day, leaving them able to calm and settle before bed. Give it a go!
7. Separation anxiety
This is a big one for toddlers. Separation anxiety is sometimes only considered a factor when babies are 9-10 months of age. However, more recent research has highlighted that separation anxiety actually comes in peaks and troughs throughout the first 5 years of life. In fact, it can take 5 years for children to develop the confidence that they are going to see their caregivers again when they are apart.
That’s a big thing to get your head around!
For toddlers, sleep is a form of separation, and some toddlers really struggle to let go at bedtime and let that separation from their parents happen. They might need lots of cuddles and reassurance. Others may need frequent check-ins with a parent throughout the night to make sure that everything is okay.
If your toddler is going through a peak of separation anxiety, trying to force independence by using CIO sleep training methods is unlikely to help the situation. In fact, CIO sleep training may make things worse. However, there are lots of ways that you can optimise your toddler’s sleep to help them sleep as well as possible.
A Sleep Coach (particularly a Holistic Sleep Coach) will be able to help you with this, and if you need to, they can also help you find ways to help your toddler settle as easily as possible at night time, in a way that works for all of you.
Things to consider when hiring a Sleep Coach for your toddler
As you can see, there can be several reasons why your toddler may suddenly experience changes in their sleep. So it's important to remember that this is completely normal and temporary.
But, even though you know it’s temporary, you would still like some help getting your child (and you!) back to a more consistent sleep pattern.
So below, I’ve gone through how you can find the right sleep coach, specifically for toddlers.
1. Do they specialise in toddler sleep?
Not all Sleep Coaches specialise in toddler sleep. In fact, a lot of Sleep Consultants and Coaches only work with young babies. To find out, simply take a look at the Sleep Coach's website or social media pages. Or you could always get in touch with them directly and ask.
Toddlers will need quite different approaches to babies, so if you're hiring someone, make sure they are qualified and experienced in working with your child’s age group. I work with children up to 7 years, and have specific packages for children aged 12-24 months and children aged 2-8 years.
2. What sleep coaching methods do you want to use (or not use) with your toddler?
Just like with younger babies, your choice of Sleep Coach will be influenced by the methods that they talk about on their website and social media pages. Examples might include:
Sleep training or Crying It Out (CIO) methods. As described by the name, with the CIO method, you let your child cry until they fall asleep on their own. Some Sleep Trainers will use this, or a form of it, as the core part of their methods (even those who imply that they are ‘gentle”.) As you probably know by now, I do not advocate or suggest CIO sleep training methods when I work with families. I will never tell you to not respond to your toddler in the way your instinct is telling you to, or to walk away from your toddler when they are crying.
Sleep coaching. This method consists in making gradual tweaks to your toddler's routine and schedules to help optimise their sleep. While this is a much gentler approach than CIO (and one many families are more comfortable with), it can take longer to work. The gentle option definitely isn’t the easy option!
Holistic Sleep Coaching. I am a UK-qualified Holistic Sleep Coach. I combine my knowledge of evidence-based information around child development, attachment and sleep, along with 10 years of experience as a Sleep Coach to help families meet their sleep goals. Together, we explore both your and your toddler's needs, taking into account all the factors affecting sleep such as development, attachment, diet and sensory needs.
I view sleep as a puzzle, and with every piece of the puzzle that falls into place for your toddler, we see positive improvements in their sleep. As well as sleep optimisation, I also help parents meet their sleep goals, such as reducing night feeds and introducing new settling methods without using CIO techniques. With this combined approach, I’m able to help families meet their sleep goals in a way that feels comfortable, and in line with their parenting values.
3. Do you want a hands-on Sleep Nanny or a virtual Sleep Coach?
Another aspect for you to consider is whether you'd prefer having someone physically with you (in your home) helping you with your toddler or whether you want to work with a Sleep Coach remotely.
An in-person Sleep Coach is a bit like a nanny! They can show you what to do with your toddler, and (most importantly) they can help you resettle your toddler during the night because they're staying with you. And if your energy levels are low and you're sleep-deprived as it is, having someone step into your environment and offer to help for a short period of time could be a huge benefit.
A virtual Sleep Coach, on the other hand, means you don't have that physical support. You'll still receive plenty of advice and remote guidance via video, telephone, or messages (depending on your agreement with the Sleep Coach). But it will be up to you to follow and implement any suggestions or recommendations your coach gives you.
I offer both virtual support (with a month of unlimited support) as well as 3 day home visits around the UK. If you want to read a more in-depth article about the differences (and pros and cons) between an in-person and a virtual Sleep Coach, head over to Online or Hands-on Sleep Coach - Which One Should You Choose?
4. What is your budget for a Sleep Coach?
If you're looking to hire a Sleep Coach for your toddler, you’ll need to take into account your budget. Generally speaking, an online Sleep Coach will be more affordable than an in-person Sleep Nanny. Plus, fees may vary depending on your location, and your child’s age. A coach that offers overnight help will come at a higher price, but, of course, they'll offer a different level of support too.
Online or virtual coaches tend to carry out consultations via video, telephone, or email. As an example, you could be looking at spending as little as £45-£50 for a 30 minute virtual consultation to anything around £300-£350 for an in-depth, in-person sleep consultation in your own home. Also, if you want ongoing support from your coach after the initial meeting, a lot of Sleep Coaches provide packages that include follow-up calls (typically 2-6). In this case, you may expect to spend £600+.
I offer 3 levels of sleep support for toddlers, with prices starting at £120. All my packages include a holistic analysis of your child's sleep prior to working with me and a Zoom consultation that will be recorded for you to keep. If this is what you're looking for, you can find out more about my packages for children aged 2+ here.
5. Does the Sleep Coach have testimonials or case studies?
And last but not least, before you hire a Sleep Coach for your toddler, you'll want to make sure they are the right professional for you. A great way to check that is to read any testimonials, reviews, or case studies about them. So take a look at their website, on LinkedIn, or on Google.
On my website, for example, you can read from Lucy, who said:
“I contacted Louise after a friend suggested her for our 2-year-old who had started waking at night. We had a 1-hour phone consultation. I have loved her approach to our situation & the suggestions she has given us. She has given us lots of gentle ideas that are all very practical & easy to follow/implement. Night times have been MUCH calmer with pretty much no tears since starting Louise’s plan. And we noticed a difference in our daughter’s sleeping within a night or two. And last night, night 6 since following Louise’s plan, our daughter slept 12 hours straight. In addition to the written plan she sent me, she has also been contactable since our initial phone call to offer advice etc. I would recommend her 100%!”
If you'd like to read more testimonials, you can find them here.
As well as this, most Sleep Coaches will offer a free discovery call so that you can ask questions about how they work, and get a feel for whether they are the right fit for you.
When you’re on the call, you may want to check:
What’s their training and experience with toddlers?
Have they worked with families in similar circumstances as yours?
What sleep coaching methods do they use and not use?
You can book a discovery call by clicking the image below and choosing a date and time that works for you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Toddler Sleep
1. What can cause a toddler to have disrupted sleep?
There are many things that can impact your toddler’s sleep. These can include…
Moving from two naps to one nap a day
Introducing new settling methods
Transitioning from co-sleeping
Transitioning from a cot to a bed
Developmental leaps
Changes in routine, such as a new sibling, moving home, or starting nursery
Separation anxiety
2. What should you look for in a sleep coach for your toddler?
The five key things you should look out for are…
Specialisation: Check if the sleep coach specialises in toddler sleep. Not all sleep coaches work with toddlers, so ensure that they are qualified and experienced in working with toddlers.
Sleep Coaching Methods: Determine the sleep coaching methods that the sleep coach uses. This can include sleep training or cry-it-out, sleep coaching, or holistic sleep coaching. Choose a coach whose methods align with your parenting values and goals.
In-person or Virtual: Decide whether you want a hands-on sleep nanny or a virtual sleep coach. In-person sleep coaches provide physical support while virtual coaches offer remote guidance via video, telephone, or messages.
Budget: Consider your budget when hiring a sleep coach. Online coaches are generally more affordable than in-person coaches. Fees may also vary depending on location and the age of your child.
Testimonials and Case Studies: Check the sleep coach's website, LinkedIn, or Google for testimonials, reviews, or case studies from previous clients. Most sleep coaches also offer a free discovery call to ask questions about how they work and whether they are the right fit for you.
3. What’s your approach to sleep coaching with toddlers?
As a UK-qualified Holistic Sleep Coach with more than 10 years of experience, I use evidence-based knowledge of child development, attachment, and sleep to help families meet their sleep goals. By taking into account all the factors affecting sleep, such as development, attachment, diet, and sensory needs, I help parents reduce night feeds and introduce new settling methods without using CIO techniques, providing a combined approach that aligns with their parenting values.
Would you like me to support you with your toddler’s sleep?
If you’d like some support while you work on improving your toddler’s sleep, I'd love to help you. As a Holistic Sleep Coach, I can help you, and your toddler (and the rest of the family) achieve peaceful and improved sleep again (or perhaps for the first time since your child was born!).
If you'd like to find out how I can help, please get in touch by booking a discovery call. I'd love to hear your sleep story. Where ever you are on your sleep journey, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise.
Hi there, I’m Louise!
You can find out more about my services here: